Dear Nan.

Do I possess the words
And manifest the language
To express my thoughts today?

It’s been ten years and I don’t know
What grace there is in healing.
Time is the guaranteed cure,
But how much time is needed?

Ten years ago we lost you, Nan,
And still, inside, I’m bleeding.
Sometimes, when I’m lost or hurt,
I find it’s you I’m needing.
And when I think about you,
The first thought that springs to mind
Is not from my choice of good memories,
But of the day we said goodbye.
I was younger than I remember,
And I probably didn’t understand
Completely that our last goodbye
Would be the last time I’d hold your hand.

You were somewhere in your seventies,
At the time I thought that old,
But now when I think about old age
Resentment takes it’s hold.

I know it’s selfish of me to say,
And I cherish our fifteen years,
But I’m adamant it was premature,
And it sparked some deep, dense fears.

And I don’t blame you for a second,
When bitterness sweeps around me,
I just find it hard to comprehend,
Losing the heart of our family.

Sometimes when I think about
The reasons people cry
I tell myself to get a grip
We expect grandparents to die.
But I never did. That’s it right there.
The bitter taste on my tongue.
I thought you were invincible, immortal, always here.

Above me sits a dark, grey cloud,
It’s shrunk as time has passed,
Mostly I have sunny spells,
But when it rains, it’s fast.
Today it’s raining heavily,
It always does in June,
Fond memories, though, replace the last,
Finally, I grieve in tune.

IMG_1480

Advertisements
Dear Nan.

Coffee. 

I like coffee in my mouth 

The stain on my teeth
The brewing breakfast beverage
Milk is a sin
Sugar forbidden
Alive
Awake
Abandon. 
Coffee from bean
Bean from nature
Nature from God
God from imagination
Imagination from coffee. 
The circle of life
The Nescafé cycle
Costa lot
Or Costa little
Fair Trade or no trade.  
I like coffee on my tongue
Bitter right down to my lungs
Electric tingle down my spine
When I drink coffee
To feel alive. 
Coffee. 

Joshua James

The three of you were sitting there,
A small and humble family.
I saw your head, so full of hair,
From the corner, I sat quietly.

I marvelled at how this came to be;
A baby – honest miracle.
I knew your mother, now you see,
Not one for being responsible.

For nine months we watched you grow
From idea into bump,
We knew and yet we did not know
You’d be real, in our throats a lump.

I cried when your father told me.
I laughed at the birthing tale.
I picked you up, so cuddly.
I missed you, which prevailed.

But baby boy, Joshua James,
Born on August 19th,
The world will never be the same,
Now you’re the centrepiece.

To Kim and Tom, the greatest friends
And parents (can you believe?!)
My pride in you has no end,
It pains me that I’ll leave.

The three of you are wonderful,
I wish you lives of joy.
I can’t wait to hear about it all –
Your story, baby boy.

Joshua James

Time-Machine.

If someone invented a time-travel machine,

And offered adventure to up-ahead or past-seen,

But you had only one chance to jump on and go,

Would it be past or future? Unforeseen or long ago?

 

You could try to stop Hitler, or meet Henry Eight,

Join Chris Columbus, find America the Great,

Sing with the Beatles and rock with Elvis Presley,

Watch Shakespeare at the Globe, or kickbox with Bruce Lee.

 

That old dinner with five people, dead or alive,

Not impossible thanks to this magic device.

But the past is the past, that is true enough said,

Is it wrong to want to visit those that are dead?

 

The future, after all, is a mystical place,

And we’ll never know what worries we’ll have to face.

Glimpsing years ahead may show you another war,

You could find out in advance what we’re fighting for.

 

Unanswerable questions could be already solved,

You come back to present, future problems resolved.

Do we stop being selfish, us human beings?

For the sake of our planet, are we foreseeing?

 

And what of your own life, your friends and family,

Is it all bright and joyous, or should you not see?

Could you return and be happy, or just feel glum,

If you saw that your future was squalor and slum?

 

So what would you opt for, were you given the chance:

Relive happy times or see new ones in advance?

Perhaps the right answer is one not considered,

Stay here contented, your mind thus not untethered.

 

Why visit the past when all is unchangeable?

Why see the future when right now is unstable?

Live for the moment while cherishing memory,

Embrace the next chapters; excitement and mystery.

 

Time-Machine.

No Love, No Good, No Better – A poem written in song titles.

Here is a poem, written using song titles from my iTunes.

Full list of artists below, try seeing how many you can get before looking!

***

Hello, Ho Hey, Say Something

Give Me Love, Stand By Me, Sing

My Girl Livin’ On A Prayer

Baby, Fall, I Know You Care

 

All I Got, it’s Sad But True

I Wish, I Want, Only You.

We Are Young, Larger Than Life

You Ain’t The First, Laserlight

 

Chasing Pavements, Chasing Cars

Stay You, Just The Way You Are.

No Matter What I’m Me, I’m Yours

Feel The Love, Hurt, Human – Flaws.

 

Teenage Dream, Climb On Board

Jizz In My Pants, Rock Me, Roar

Pump Up The Jam, Praise You, Shout

Paradise City, Pass Out

 

Wake Me Up, Grow Old With Me

I Will Wait Tik Tok Happy

Without You I’m Half A Heart

Fly Away Encore Une Fois

 

Goodbye To You, Let It Go

I Knew You Were Trouble, Low

 

Internet Friends Under Pressure

No Love, No Good, and No Better.

 

***

LIST OF ARTISTS:

 

Martin Solveig & Dragonette, The Lumineers, Great Big World & Christina Aguilera

Ed Sheeran, Ben. E. King, Travis

The Temptations, Bon Jovi

Justin Bieber, Ed Sheeran, Ellie Goulding

 

Newton Faulkner, Metallica

One Direction, One Direction, Ellie Goulding

Fun., Backstreet Boys

Guns n’ Roses, David Guetta feat. Jessie J

 

Adele, Snow Patrol

Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko, Ed Sheeran + Wiley, Bruno Mars

Boyzone, Lil’ Wayne, Jason Mraz

Rudimental, Johnny Cash, The Killers, Bastille

 

Katy Perry, Labrinth

The Lonely Island, One Direction, Katy Perry

Technotronic ft. Felly, Fatboy Slim, Lulu

Guns n’ Roses, Tinie Tempah

 

Avicii, Tom Odell

Mumford & Sons, Ke$ha, Pharell

David Guetta feat. Usher, One Direction,

Lenny Kravitz, Sash!

 

Ed Sheeran + Dot Rotten, Idina Menzel (Frozen OST)

Taylor Swift, Flo Rida

Knife Party, Queen

Eminem feat. Lil’ Wayne, The Prodigy, Lorde

 

(I just wrote what I had on my iTunes so if I’ve missed any featured artists or have listed a cover version well, stop being pedantic.)

No Love, No Good, No Better – A poem written in song titles.